Yesterday morning I received a phone call and all they said was ';are you still with your husband'; and I said yes and they said ';maybe you should investigate';. Then last night she called again and gave me a phone number. When my husband got home I asked him if everything was ok and if he had anything he would like to talk about, of course he said no, so I asked are you cheating? Again he said no. I said well good can I see your phone and started to dial the number I had and he obiously reconized it and snatched the phone away from me. Long story short, I called the woman who never said yes or no to anything and he says they met 2 weeks ago at the beach but they only spoke a few times on the phone and never even kissed. I'm lost and don't know what to do, I kicked him out last night and haven't answered any of his calls. Any advice or encouragement will be greatly appreciated.Lady's or guys I need your advice?
I would sit down with him and I would ask a few questions like why was he at the beach without you to begin with who approached who first. tell him you want honesty and to openly talk aboutit like adults not yelling and screaming. ask him why he talked to her does he feel like he is lacking attention fro you. what can you both do to avoid this from happening again and is he happy being married to you. you might get answer you want to hear or you might now but at least you will know where things in his heart and yours stand. Do not give up so easily. no one is perfect especially if she was the aggressor there are many women who see a wedding band as a challenge and it is wrong of them when there are so many single guys in the world.Lady's or guys I need your advice?
I think you did the right thing by kicking him out, if he's talking to other women behind your back, calling them on the phone, even if they haven't kissed, (and that's just what he told you, who knows if it's true or not seeing as he denyed everything at first) then that's a sign that he wants to be with someone else, and you don't need that in your life! That's just horrible!
It's really up to you. Obviously he made a mistake, but give him a chance to apologize alteast and hear his story. If he calls again, pick up and listen to what he has to say. But don't be willing to let him back easily. Tell him how much he has hurt you and he WILL feel guilty and he will see the mistake he has made. Just be careful, and be strong.
Well, did you hear his full side of the story?
I think you should listen to what he has to say and evaluate from there. Decide how important he is to you and if your love is strong enough to overcome this major glitch.
You could also start mending your relationship by starting things over. And slow.
But then again, adultery is definitively reasonable grounds for divorce....I guess it's just up to you and how you really truly feel about him.
Good luck :\
Don't make your decision while you are mad. He may have cheated and he may have not. But the bottom line is that he was keeping a secret from you. As the as the woman goes you know some women do that to get up under the woman's skin because obviously she views you as a threat. But good luck and try to work it out cause you two got married for a reason.
talk to him when you're in a calm mood so your emotions wont get in the way. i'd rather confront him than the girl because naturally, i would trust my boyfriend more. maybe the woman was just playing. just so u know, i think cheating is unforgivable. if he can do it once, he can do it again. if he did do it, move on, hard as that may seem. take care dear :)
first of all is the girl said that they have only talked on the phone you shouldn't have kicked him out. answer his call and find time to siriously talk about what is going on and make him choose between you or the other girl who he wanted to cheat on you with.
Girl you need some ben and jerry's and get into your PJs and just have a good old fasion pillow fight with your girlfriends while watching lifetime. Then take a nice hot bubble bath and have a glass of merlot, to ease the pain of that dick of a Husband.
sweety you did the right thing ,if he loves you he will come begging to get back with you,give him a few days to think about what he did and how hurt you are,but realy think about this before taking him back ,you will always dought him.
do you still trust him??
well was it a guy who called you last night??
you two need to sit down to a romantic dinner and talk about everything.. get him to fall in love with you like when you to were dating!!!
then hill love you forever
Well. I think you should call the girl and ask her if she kissed him and if she says yes then don't talk to him. If no. Then make up with your boyfriend. Good Luck!! I Hope Everything Turns Out Good For You!!
Just be careful with your emotions, you should make decisions that don't hurt you emotionally.
sounds like he was looking to cheat.. its up to you if you can trust him and forgive him enough to let him back in.
Well, lets add it up.
1. Met another woman on the Beach... WRONG
2. Sneaking around... WRONG
3. Talking to another woman secretly... WRONG
4. Not being honest to you... WRONG
5. Breaking trust with you... WRONG
6. Breaking the sacred marriage vows... WRONG
7. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG
I guess you have good reason to kick him out. Stay your course.
Get your ';own'; attorney and file your Divorce papers. You are probably entitled to more than half of everything based on his debauchery. The state I live in sides with the hurt party and goes hard on the adulterer.
OR ... you could forgive him and he will think you are a pushover and this is the beginning of a pattern. And then what, you divorce him when you are 60 and begin your life alone. Seen it happen many times. Get a guy who respects you while you are young. And build a life filled with love... not betrayal.
One more thing... If you forgive him you must be willing to forgive and forget. If you bring it up every time you have a fight.... YOU HAVE NOT FORGIVEN HIM.
Lastly... If you let him come back home you have just as well forgiven him. I wish you the best.... AND YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN HIM.
Sacred trust is not easily repaired. Your marriage foundation is shaken and you have very little to build upon now.
first of all he shouldnt be giving his number out to any women so good for you. would he like it if you gave your number out to some guy you meet at the ';beach'; and secretly spoke on the phone? NO he wouldnt. i would eventually answer his phone calls and meet up with him and talk. REALLY TALK!!!
tell him that this is unexceptable and that he needs to make a choice. stay married or be a bachelor again. tell him that your trust for him is out the window and that it will take time for it to come back. tell him who it made you feel getting those phone calls and finding out he gave his number to another woman. be blunt and honest with him.
be strong. good luck
hope this helps
I don't know personally how that feels but i always have to watch my sister and her fiance go through the same stuff all the time. As a matter of fact, i know for sure that he is a cheater. I am going tell you just like i tell my sister ';I know that it is not easy finding out that some one that you care for has done something that hurts you.'; Its not your fault that he has those moments that were unforgettable. You are now to a point where everything good the he has done has clouded your path so much that certain little things that he does steers you away from all the bad thing that he has done. You were indeed right for doing what you did. A woman who decides that she doesn't want to do anything about it is a fool for being where she is at that time.I am not the type of person who says that , the females deserve it because no one does.
Rocky spelled things out perfectly and DON'T go with your heart but listen to your head. Seeing it written down and spelled out does help you to sort things out. Many people stay and try to make the marriage work and I think that you should if kids are involved. But many of these same people come to regret their choice of following their heart as they are older and have become wiser. It's not easy to regain trust in a relationship once broken and it can't be forced. When a person cheats and is forgiven and the other person takes them back the cheater then becomes an opportunist and then the cheating pattern begins and has no end. Respect yourself by walking away. Otherwise, how can you expect him to show any towards you.
I can only imagine what you are going through. The same thing happened to my mom. My suggestion would be to wrap yourself around family and friends and let them be strong for you until you can stand on your own. I think the separation is a good idea. It gives you both time to think on the issue and whether the relationship is worth mending and if you think it is seek counseling and take a vacation together in order to reconnect. I hope all goes well and keep the family and friends very close to you it will greatly help you like it did my mom
Look, he made a huge mistake...it hurts. I'm almost positive that he would take it back if he could. People do things that are dumb..without thinking of someone else's feeling or how it could affect the future.
Sounds like he made an emotional decision. I think you should see if he is truly sorry....he is your husband and he loves you....he made a bad choice. If you can forgive him...it will make your marriage stronger, Plus you will be able to help others going through the same thing. You will be able to prove that even when times get rough, you can always work things out...if that is the choice you want.
Let him know how much it hurt you and that he needs to earn your trust back.
If he didn't cheat yet, I'd say it sure seems like he had intentions to. ';Are you STILL with your husband?'; I'd have to assume he was telling her he intended to leave you.
I'd talk to this lady, but also try to keep in my that she may not be telling a lick of truth. If she knew about you, then what kind of integrity does she have?
He hid this person from you, obviously it was exciting for him and he knew it was wrong. And now whatever he tells you about her has to be taken with a grain of salt because he has already proven that he won't be straight with you. If that breach of trust is too much for you to bear, than you may want to consider divorce, honestly (%26amp; sadly).
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