Please put me out of my misery - guys i need your advice?

I found someone I thought was 'the one' - I think he had similar ideas. If we'd gotten together, we'd likely have got serious. But a variety of things going on his life meant he was not in the place for a relationship and above all, he seemed terrified at the prospect of it. He's been in touch a couple of times since we stopped dating 6 months ago, acknowledging his behaviour, asking a load of questions, wanting to know what I'm up to and telling me to expect an invite to his upcoming party. On the other hand, he responds sporadically, if at all, to my emails. Now he's withdrawn again. I've done no chasing so far, just been reactive since he told me he didn't want to get involved. However irrational it may be, the whole thing is making me really unsetted and distracted and i can't move on. i'd like to email him only i'm not sure what to say, what tone to adopt etc. Could I say something to reverse the 'relationship' pressure he's feeling, get things into a more relaxed territory?Please put me out of my misery - guys i need your advice?
You won't believe how much time and effort you wasted once you look back. Do yourself a favor and move on.





Why is it that even though there are billions of people in the world somehow ';The One'; is almost always within a 30 mile radius? There is no such thing as, ';The One';. We are all just people who may or may not be compatible for each other. It's up to you to use your best judgment and find someone who is just as screwed up as you. JK You know what I mean.Please put me out of my misery - guys i need your advice?
my opinion as a guy is that you are his Plan C or Plan D. That's why things are so sporadic. he if can't get laid by girl A, he tries girl b, and so on. jmaybe he got to plan c and all of a sudden plan a calls back after all. that leaves girl b and c wondering. just my opinion
Don't waste your time. He is likely psuedo involved with someone else. If he was interested he would pursue you more. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment.
Why be with someone who won't have time to be with you? Let it go. He might be playing games, you never really know with guys, and you obviously aren't in his priorities. You'll find plenty of ';the one's';, and maybe if he really is ';the one'; it'll all fall into place, but don't waist your time waiting.
Why would you want to be with someone who is ';terrified'; of a relationship? You deserve better than that. Either a man is ready and open to a relationship or not. Wishy-washy, in the middle, not sure, sporadic,commitment phobic, game playing men are a huge waste of time. Move on, you will be better for it.
The answer depends on the type of relationship you are ready to have in this stage of your life. If you are still in the stage of your romantic life in which you aren't sure you're ready to settle down with one person, the way to regain the upper hand is to let him initiate further contact. However, if you have been around the block more than once and are tired of game-playing, you already know this scenario is irrelevant because you want someone who complements your life instead of providing distraction through a chase.
Get a life! Forget him and move on.
... what?
are u cheating or is he cheating? the point is that if u get caught cheating you might have another Chance wit him I'm not saying your not.you just might get back together again just give it some time OK
SophistiKate, you know that you deserve better so why are you pining after this guy who's not all that into you in the first place? Let him pursue you if he's interested. Don't settle for lukewarm attitude from a guy; look for flying sparks, electric fireworks, and not pop and fizzle. Stop swimming in that stagnant pond, go swim in the ocean.
Dear Ms. Kate,





I'm sorry your feelings are not being returned to you, as a member of this particular game I know how difficult it really can be.





Firstly - I would like to seperate in your head fantasy from reality. Remember that what could have been and what might have been didn't actually happen, and the fact is you don't know what would have happened if you did get together. Don't pretend to be able to see into another person's heart or head. It will get you into trouble.





Secondly - you should consider that he might not be where you are at this point in his life. You mention that he was ';the one'; which indicates to me your looking to get married and settle down. You also mentioned that he was really involved in his business and parties. He is also distant and withdrawn.





I don't think you should settle for someone who isn't showing the same level of interest or is not on the same page as you, be willing to look around, talk with several men until you find someone who shows the same level of interest and is at the same point in their lives.





Don't rush things, 20's is a good time to learn about others and what you really want. I personally know I want marry a girl who wants to stay at home taking on a majority of the child rearing while I work very hard to keep them fed, clothed, and lead them spiritually. I'm comfortable with the idea of being the only one bringing home the coffee and I want to find a girl who has those same values and is at the same point in her life.





I'm willing to wait (don't want to) but I'm willing to wait for that girl to come along and I'm not going to worry about the one's that aren't that person, though I always keep my options open ;).





Quick Recap: Let him go, find someone else.





Good Luck, I'll say a prayer for you!


Tetrall
Don't waste your time - lots of other fish in the sea.
if he's involved with his career.... what makes you think that he wants more to be involved with..??... chanel your efforts somewhere else and with someone else... you have the right to be as miserable or as happy as you want... choose the latter, move on.
You really need to distract yourself. Next time he emails you, don't answer right away. Let him figure out you have a life, and you're not holding your breath, waiting for him to scratch his butt. You may never get back together. But, if you do, you owe it to yourself to only get involved with him, if he's interested enough to persue you.